Forever's not enough...

I've been feeling weird this afternoon... It's no fun at all. I don't know why it started, or how. But then I got angry for some reason, and it just got worse. I watched One Tree Hill, and the episode was so fucking sad. Then I walked the dog. It was very cold outside, and I almost ran into one of the ugliest eight-legged creatures ever. A few minutes later it started raining, and I hate cold rain. I got back inside, and sat down in bed feeling sorry for myself - as I'd be doing for a while already.

I'm afraid to get lost in this dream, nothing seems to be real...

Maybe it's cause I'm still in Norway. I wanna move, now. I miss my boy... I have problems seeing the reason I'm still here, waiting. But now and then it occurs to me... I'll see Mötley Crüe soon. That's the reason. If I didn't have that ticket, I'd be gone yesterday. That's why I'm waiting till June to move. After I've seen Mötley here in Norway. Don't get me wrong, I am really excited to see them live! Never seen them before, so it'll be one of the best experiences of my life so far. I know that. And I have Nasty to share it with me. Even though she's seen them before. In 2006, when I was bitchin' stupid.

Will you be there beside me as time goes on by? And be there to hold me, whenever I cry...?

I'm in love. Madly in love. I don't know what to say about it. Do you know that feeling? When you wake up in the morning, you have one special person on your mind. He stays there all day, and he's the last thing you 'see' before you fall asleep. You hear his name, and immediately blush and giggle. You see his picture and feel warm inside. You get an sms, and you almost freak out of happiness. You hear his voice on the phone, and barely listen to what he's saying, cause you're just enjoying his beautiful voice. When you see him, hold him, hug him, kiss him - you don't want anything else in the world.
Why does he live so far away? Why can't I touch him whenever I want?

If you don't love me, lie to me.

I just found a piece of black hair on my pillow... It's from last time I saw him. I got tears in my eyes. I miss him so much... How is it possible for a person to walk into ones life, and change it for the better this fast? I am so glad I went to Göteborg in February. I was hesitating and really didn't have the money or the reason to go. But I got convinced, and bought the ticket. If I hadn't done just that, I'd never have met him. I am SO fucking happy I did... He's everything to me. I love him, and I never wanna loose him. He's so perfect. Perfect for me. We are so alike, and have so much in common. I have to wait 2 more weeks before I see him again. Then I'll return to Göteborg, this time to our new apartment. We're moving in together soon... It's gonna be the two uf us now...

If all we've got is time, forever's not enough.

I love you, baby. You know that... I miss you like hell, and can't wait to see you again... <3